Fluid Bonding Explained: What It Means, The Risks, and How to Talk About It
written by Micah Brown
The first thing most people think about when they hear the term “fluid bonding” is sex. It’s not an uncommon association since the term does generally refer to sexual activity. What people may not know is that fluid bonding is something that goes beyond just sex and can fall into several different categories within kink.
Fluid Bonding and Sexual Partners: The Basics
While we will be touching on kink and fluid bonding, as this was first a term that was brought up in the Poly community regarding sexual partners, it seems like a good place to start. At its core, fluid bonding tends to be between two partners who have decided their lifestyle is such that they no longer wish to use barrier methods for sexual activities. Those in polyamorous relationships would become fluid bonded to their primary partner but would continue to use barrier methods to prevent STIs with others they were sexual with.
The basic view of fluid bonding generally revolves around sexual fluids such as pre-ejaculate, semen, and vaginal secretions as those tend to be the primary vector for STI transmission. While other vectors can exist (such as blood), there’s a reason why they are called Sexually Transmitted Infections. Some people who may take it to extremes also consider saliva a fluid that should only be shared with your fluid bonded partner. Whatever you decide fluid bonding is within your dynamic, that’s perfectly okay!
Understanding the Health Risks of Fluid Bonding
STIs. Okay, we can just move onto the next section now…
Not using a barrier does increase your risk of transmitting or receiving an STI from a partner. If you’re not having sex with anybody else, then the likelihood is very slim. However, when you have more than one parter, even if you are using barrier methods, there is an increase in the likelihood that an STI can be contracted and spread. Remember, condoms aren’t 100% effective against STI transmission.
Perhaps you think that just testing for HIV is enough to keep you safe from the really bad ones and that, should you end up with gonorrhea or chlamydia you can just take some pills and be done with it in a short period of time. People often seem to forget STIs like herpes and HPV that have no cure and become life-long conditions that may need to be managed. Are either those terrible? Well, HPV can cause cervical cancer in women and throat cancer in men later in life, and HPV may not be symptomatic.
If neither of you is sterilized, then another risk of going without a barrier is the risk of pregnancy. Again, even birth control pills and IUDs have failure rates attached to them, and a failure with an IUD could end with an ectopic pregnancy, which is a medical emergency.
Less concerning risk factors include a higher possibility of a UTI in those with penises and those with vaginas as well as a higher risk of yeast infections in people who have vaginas – especially if you’re fluid bonded to more than one person and they possess vastly different PH levels in their sexual fluids.
How to Stay Safe When Fluid Bonding
If you are planning on having any kind of unprotected sex with a partner, then you’re going to want to take the time for both of you to get screened for STIs. Whether at your doctor’s office or a clinic that specializes in sexual wellness, or even a walk-in clinic. Making sure that you’re free of infections keeps you and others safe. Don’t hesitate to talk about test results with potential partners, even if you are using a barrier. It’s important to remain informed about the sexual activity of each partner you have as well as inform them about any changes in your sexual activity.
Telling a partner that you’ve stopped using condoms with one of your other partners will help them make an informed decision on how they want to move forward with sexual activity and protection. The same is true when they’re talking to you. I know I beat the drum of communication every single time I sit down and write, but that’s just a fact when it comes to sexual wellness, regardless of whether or not you are fluid bonding.
Fluid Bonding in Kink: Blood Play, Bodily Fluids, and Risk Profiles
I know this what you’ve all been waiting for! Here we are, at the intersection of Kink and Fluid Bonding. Yes, fluid bonding within kink may look very similar to more vanilla or poly types of fluid bonding, but often it ends up going further and may include bodily fluids that are beyond the scope of simply sexual fluids.
A prime example of this from my own life is the inclusion of blood since my partner and I enjoy sharps and blood play. Beyond that, you’re looking at some of the more fringe fluids out there like urine, vomit, and even feces. Taking on the risk of blood and other fluids also increases your risk profile. Some infections that aren’t transmitted sexually can be transmitted through blood. If you’re looking at other bodily fluids such as vomit or feces, then you’re also adding new infection vectors to your risk profile due to an increased likelihood of other types of infection from that sort of play.
Beyond that, fluid bonding may also be considered a kink by some in the community. The thought that their partner is the only one who gets to share fluids with them can be something many find incredibly arousing and some may even build role play scenarios around it.
How to Have the Fluid Bonding Conversation With Your Partner
If being fluid bonded is something that you are interested in exploring with your partner or partners, then bringing up the topic may sound daunting. While many people out there cannot wait to toss the condoms in the trash, you may be surprised by the number of people are are cautious about the sexual wellness and finding ways to keep everybody safe.
The idea of fluid bonding is making certain that everybody feels as safe as possible and exists within their own risk profile. Don’t try to force the issue with somebody who is not receptive to it, regardless of how badly you may want to get rid of the barriers.
The first topic when discussing fluid bonding should always be about safety. Discuss STI screening, what STIs you want to screen for regularly if you’re sleeping with more than one partner, what STIs you’re willing to risk (is herpes something that fits within your risk profile? What about HPV?)?
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The Benefits of Fluid Bonding and How to Honor Your Agreements
One of the best things about being fluid bonded with a partner are the spontaneous acts of sexual activity that can occur without having to prepare or make certain that a condom is on hand. It allows you to go along with whatever comes (wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean?).
What you don’t want to end up doing is going with the flow with other partners and not meeting your agreements with your fluid bonded partner. While it is possible to be fluid bonded to more than one partner, you want to be sure that all your parnters are aware of your activities and the activities of the partners you are fluid bonded with. This helps to keep everybody safe and healthy.
