written by Micah Brown

For folks who are just coming into kink or who want to learn more about it, the terms “High Protocol” and “Low Protocol” may not hold much meaning. That being said, High and Low Protocol can be very important for those who exist within a 24/7 Total Power Exchange Dynamic. It’s how the submissive knows how to address and act around their Dominant.

I’m going to approach this a little differently than some others might and include in this the idea of a Mid-Protocol, somewhere between the two extremes.

What Are Protocols?

Protocols instruct the submissive on how to behave in a given situation. When you’re talking about Low Protocols, you’re mainly talking about much lower expectation of compliance. You can think of this as almost “normal couple time.” This may be used around family and friends who are unaware of your D/s activities.

High Protocol is a very rigid set of expectations for the submissive to follow, generally when they have more time to be on their own with a lower chance of interruption.

Mid-Protocol lands somewhere in the middle of the two extremes, where the submissive may use honorifics and have a higher level of expectation than Low Protocol, but does not have all the expectations of High Protocol.

Low Protocol

Think of an average night at home for a vanilla couple. The kids are in bed and there is finally time for them to spend with each other. There might be some cuddling on the couch and maybe a movie to watch or a reading books together. If the Dom asks for something, it won’t include any titles like “slave” or “baby-girl/boy.” The slave may respond with something simple like “I’m on it” or “Okay” before following through.

From the submissive side, they will have more freedom of speech, meaning they don’t have to ask to speak, or have any expectations of using honorifics. They’re not forbidden from using them, but it’s not expected.

Outside of any regular nightly tasks, the submissive has the freedom to make their own evening and do their own thing within the confines of the rules already set forth.

While the dynamic isn’t completely stopped, it’s certainly been turned down in these instances.

Mid-Protocol

When things are Mid-Protocol, it generally means that titles and honorifics will be used to some extent. When I’m aiming for a Mid-Protocol evening, I don’t announce it so much as use my slave’s title when asking for something so that she knows it’s a little more important to me than an average evening.

She also understands that in the use of her title to ask for something, she is now expected to behave a certain way at bedtime over a low protocol evening. For example, she is always to sleep naked, no matter what the protocol is. When she understands that it will be a Mid-Protocol evening, she knows that she must present herself to me at bed time and not just get under the covers and wait.

High Protocol

When it’s a High Protocol time, I will let my slave know that she is expected to behave in a High Protocol fashion. She understands what this means and follows suit. She is to be near me at all times and is not allowed to use any of the furniture in the house without permission. She is not to speak outside of asking for permission to do something that she needs to do. Eye-contact is limited to when I request it from her. She is to use “Master” whenever she addresses me and she is to serve me anything I request on her knees.

If I put on a movie, she may watch from her pillow on the floor, but if I decide to read, she must kneel quietly and wait for additional instructions.

When it’s bed time, she is to undress and wait for me in the position we have agreed on for presenting herself for use.

After she is used, she must ask permission to go to sleep when she is ready to sleep.

Protocol comparison with examples — Protocol comparison chart with examples

Differences in Protocol

What’s important about protocol is that it is entirely yours. What I’ve described in my High Protocol times may be nothing like what you expect within your own high protocol times. Maybe you’re more demanding and strict about it. Maybe you’re less demanding and strict. There is no right way or wrong way to set up your protocols so long as what you agree on works for everybody involved.

You do want to make certain that you have a delineation between the various protocol types. Some folks do not have a Mid-Protocol, or don’t acknowledge it as such – for them, it’s just another level of Low Protocol. I like to separate it out because it has different expectations from Low and High within our dynamic.

Setup your own protocols however you like.

When To Use Protocols

Most of the time, you’re going to determine when it’s time to use Low, Mid, or High Protocols within your lifestyle and your dynamic. There are some times that it may be better to use Low Protocol and other times when High Protocol is going to make more sense.

Generally speaking, it’s a good idea to use Low Protocols when you’re dealing with family and friends who do not know about your dynamic. You’re not pausing the dynamic, but you are allowing for a more “normal” appearance to outsiders when you interact with them. Other places where Low Protocol would probably be a good idea would be any professional environment or out crowded public spaces.

High Protocols can be used at kink events such as Munches, Play Parties, or even Kinky Conferences. I’ve always found it nice to have my slave behaving in a High Protocol manner when we’re attending events. This helps me stay focused on her and helps to keep my own social anxiety down, and it helps her to focus on me and behaving appropriately so she doesn’t have to think too hard about her own social anxiety.

Beyond that, we often use High Protocols when we’re home on our own and need some time to reset and settle into our roles as Master and slave. This is helpful especially after an extended family gathering or vacation.

Mid Protocol tends to be based more on timing for us than anything else. We may be with a group of friends who knows that we’re kinky, but we don’t want to make them too uncomfortable by going full bore into High Protocol. It allows us to feel more in touch with our dynamic in a more public setting without feeling as though we’re standing out by going into High Protocol. We find it to be a good middle ground. It’s also something we tend to fall into in the evenings after the kids have gone to bed and we have some time together on our own.

Making the Most of Protocols

You want to make protocols work for you. The purpose of them is to help keep you in mind of your dynamic, help you grow together, and help provide a structure for both the Dom and the sub.

We’ve found Protocols to be very helpful in keeping our dynamic going even when life doesn’t allow us the time to delve fully into our dynamic. Even Mid Protocol evenings allow us to feel connected to each other in our dynamic and keep us grounded in our roles as Master and slave.

However you choose to make use of protocols in your dynamic, it’s important that you set up what those expectations are and when they will be used.