Make 2026 Your Most Intentionally Kinky Year Yet
written by Micah Brown
Are you ready to get kinky? I mean, if you’re reading this the likelihood is that you are already kinky to some extent, so maybe I should rephrase that question…
Are you ready to get intentionally kinky for 2026?
Isn’t every kink interaction intentional?
Yes, but the point of this is make 2026 a year of intentional kink. That means finding ways to incorporate your kink more completely into your life. Does this mean getting flogged on the subway on your way to work? Not quite what I was going for here, but if that’s what you need, just remember you need to get consent from everybody on the train car before you start getting publicly beaten.
Kink in Everyday Life
I can’t go over every possible permutation of kink dynamics and keep this short enough to publish here, so I’m hoping that what I put here will provide a framework for most everybody to able to work from even if I don’t use examples that fit your dynamic specifically.
Take a moment and think about what your dynamic looks like in your daily life. How does your dynamic fit into the nooks and crannies of “normal” life? If you have children, how do you work your dynamic around the children so that they remain unaware of that aspect of your lives? If you have roommates who are unaware of your kink, or unaware of how kinky you are, how will you find ways to meet your needs of being a kinkster without alerting them to exactly how freaky you can get?
Most people I have spoken with about their kink lives wish to bring that aspect of who they are into the world more often in some capacity. While this doesn’t mean getting beaten on a subway car for all the commuters to see, it does mean finding ways to express your kinky self in ways that are publicly appropriate.
My partner is very much a service sub. She gets pleasure and satisfaction from providing services. When she gets home from work, she’s on her knees in front me of asking me what I need. That’s not a rule I’ve made for her, it’s just what she does when she gets home. But, what if the kids are around? How can she show that submissive side of herself without getting on her knees and calling me Master?
In the event that the children are around or we have guests, instead of kneeling she will play with her collar and offer to get me tea or coffee. While I may not want tea or coffee in that moment, it opens the door for me to ask her for something I do want from her. I can then ask her to bring me a snack or get me water or run an errand for me. She will then nod her head slightly as a way of saying “Yes, Master” and follow through on her service.
We also incorporate that into other settings when we are visiting other homes or out in public. When she has a question that requires an answer from the place of her Master, she will touch her collar and avert her eyes and ask the question.
I also have a nickname for her that I use when I need her attention as my submissive. I’ll call her by that name and she will come into the room with her hand on her collar and ask what I need.
What things can you do to help bring your own dynamic deeper into your lives while also remaining subtle about it (should subtlety be necessary for your situation)?
For example, if you take part in pet play and you want to find ways to be more pet-like in public, you could make sure that your collar has a bell on it when you go out. If you like being controlled, your Owner could teach you hand-signals that mean different things. If your owner points straight down, that could mean you need to sit down immediately. Maybe a certain whistle would mean you need to heel and walk two steps behind your Owner.
Having a pet name (see what I did there) for when your Owner requires your attention as your dynamic self can help put you right into the correct headspace without calling attention to your dynamic for the rest of the world to see.
Another handy option is to use hand signals to communicate needs. I will not take credit for that idea as I actually witnessed the use of hand signals between a Dominant and submissive at a bookstore once. I vaguely got the gist of what the Dom was commanding of his submissive, and that gave me my own ideas. Now, my submissive and I use our own hand signals to communicate in public when dynamic needs must be met. This doesn’t have to get fancy or complicated, it just has to be things that you all will understand quickly and without question.
As an example, if I need her stop talking, I take my middle finger and place it on top of my pointer finger and then scratch my nose. We’ve also got hand signals for sitting down, discretely removing her panties, walking two steps behind me, and so forth. It’s a good way to keep the dynamic alive while in public.
So, for Kink in everyday life, I want you to take the time to come up some things that could work for your dynamic. Don’t try to flesh out the ideas here, just get started with a list and then use that list to help expand on taking your dynamic further.
What are some clothing choices that you could make to help show your dynamic without advertising it to the general public?
Think of three to five things you would like to be able to quickly command when in public and come up with hand signals for them.
What are possible pet/nicknames you can use that could replace honorifics when in public?
When you can’t kneel, how can you show your submission to your Dominant?
What every day things can you tweak into becoming part of the dynamic?
Make a Plan
Life gets busy and sometimes it feels like the dynamic falls to the wayside as other parts of life creep in and take over. If you have children, they can run huge parts of your life, but that doesn’t mean that you need to give up on your dynamic. Work stress, home stress, commuting stress, and even relationship stress can all take away from the core of your dynamic and make you both feel adrift.
Remember that you are in a dynamic because it fulfills something that you both need. Without the dynamic, things can seem off and feel as though they are deteriorating. This makes it even more important to find ways to be more intentional about your dynamic and more focused on it even when it seems as though you can’t find the time for it.
Making a plan to keep your dynamic going may feel like a big task, but the truth is, it generally won’t take much of your time. The ideas I’m putting down here are merely suggestions that you can use as a springboard to come up with your own ideas that fit your dynamic and situation.
I’m breaking this down into Daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly to keep everything bite-sized enough to not feel overwhelming.
Daily Dynamic Activities
The submissive should kneel daily to their Dominant – if possible twice a day
The Dominant should provide an affirmation to their submissive at least once a day
At certain points during the day the submissive should take one-minute meditations that focus on their submission and devotion to their Dominant
All agreed-upon rules and consequences should be followed up on every evening – this means if a punishment has been earned, the submissive receives that punishment
As a side note to this, you should always have two punishments setup for every consequence – that way there is a silent punishment (like kneeling on rice) and a loud punishment (spankings or floggings) for when others may be around that you don’t want hearing things when they happen.
Every evening there should be a quick two to five minute check-in about their day and the dynamic in general – if there needs to be a bigger conversation, make room for that to happen
If your dynamic includes sexual activity, the submissive should offer their body to their Dominant every evening before going to sleep – this should happen even if you both know you’re already too tired for sexual activity because it helps to keep the dynamic in the forefront of your minds
Weekly Dynamic Activities
Set aside half an hour every week to discuss your dynamic – you may not require the entire time every week, but you will be glad you have it set aside because if there’s nothing to talk about, then you have half an hour to spend on other activities, like board games, or sexy times
Schedule at least one session of dynamic time during the week where you can exist wholly as your Dominant and submissive selves (or Owner and pet, or Caretaker and little) – this doesn’t have to be sexy time, but it should allow you both to be fully invested in your dynamic and be a minimum of one hour – Understand that this may not happen every week, and that’s okay – but do your best to plan for it and don’t go more than two weeks without
Outside of your weekly check-in, try to find some time to talk about your fantasies and desires, and see if there might be anything new you want to try in the future
Monthly Dynamic Activities
At least once a month try to attend a kink event – it doesn’t have to be kinky, but attend a munch or social event with other kink people where you can be your dynamic selves around others who won’t judge you and who appreciate the dynamic
Make plans once a month for extended dynamic play – plan a detailed scene that allows you to sink into your dynamic selves and gives you space to let the rest of the world fall away for a bit – For something like this, you want to be sure that you have plenty of time for play and plenty of time for aftercare.
Yearly Dynamic Activities
Plan one big Weekend of Kink getaway – this can be a kink convention or just a hotel room and a couple of bags filled with toys or what you want the getaway to look like – it’s your getaway, not mine
The big yearly check in – this is when you sit down and go over every aspect of your dynamic – if you have a contract, then this is where you would open it up for renegotiations, revisit limits, and make any adjustments you feel may be necessary
Keeping it Intentional
Keeping your kinky life intentional requires work, just like everything else in life. But the more you put into it, the more you find ways to sprinkle your dynamic into every day parts of your life, the less it feels like work and the more you begin to realize that your dynamic is just another fulfilling part of your life.
Take small steps if you need to. Pick a couple of things to do weekly, pick one thing to do monthly or even every other month, and if you have one yearly activity that you take part in, then celebrate that.
If any of this looks daunting, it’s not supposed to. It’s a “Take what you want and leave the rest” sort of thing – and if none of it works for you, then that’s okay. My only hope is that this jump-started your desire to make your 2026 the most intentionally kinky year of your life… so far!
