written by Micah Brown

Consensual Non-Consent is play between two consenting adults where the scene being played out appears to be non-consensual in nature – in truth, the entire scene is carefully negotiated and planned out ahead of time with boundaries set and safe words at the ready in the event things become too intense.

When you look at various sorts of 24/7 dynamics in the kink world, you may feel as though there is lots of CNC happening. You hear terms like “free use” and immediately assume that it’s a CNC scenario every time the submissive is used in such a situation. To better understand all the various ins and outs of how CNC may function within a 24/7 dynamic, we should first look at the various types of dynamics and how they relate to CNC play.

Free Use

We’ll start here since we used the example of Free Use above. Don’t let the term fool you into thinking that it’s CNC. A Free Use submissive is one who has already consented to sexual behavior from their partner without the need to ask permission every time. This is a carefully negotiated situation and one that will require continued negotiation as life circumstances and boundaries change with time.

To be in a 24/7 dynamic with a free use component requires that there be a mountain of trust, explicit boundaries (e.g. you can’t make me fuck you at work), and constant renegotiations.

While the following example may not fit your desired dynamic, you can use this as a jumping-off point to start your own negotiations if this is something you’re interested in discussing.

So, does Free use mean that you may have to perform an overt sex act while at a restaurant? Honestly, we would hope it doesn’t unless the restaurant is kink and sex friendly because, as we discussed in our article about public kink, those sitting around you at the restaurant didn’t consent to seeing you or your partner performing any kind of sex act. Beyond that, it’s very likely that public displays like that are a boundary for your submissive.

Does that mean that you can’t do something a little sneaky under the table or maybe have them hiding a wearable under their clothes? No, it does not – unless that’s a boundary that’s been set.

Free Use within private and play spaces is going to be different than Free Use out in public and the rest of the vanilla world. Free Use may entitle the Dom to initiate penetration at any point without first needing to ask for consent when in appropriate spaces. It does not give the Dom the right to penetrate in situations that have been specifically stated as Off Limits (like restaurants and other public spaces). This means the Dom could wake the submissive up with penetration if that’s something that’s been agreed upon (again, boundaries are very important to set around Free Use dynamics).

If the idea of Free Use is arousing for you, talk to your partner(s) about it and see if they would be interested in something like that. Be sure to set firm boundaries around it and acknowledge safe-words.

Blanket Consent

While similar in theme to Free Use, is more focused on consent being provided for a specific scope of activities that the Dom doesn’t have to ask permission for. This can look different in different dynamics, so take a look at the various scenarios to get a better idea of what blanket consent could look like:

The Dom doesn’t need to ask consent during playtime for already agreed upon actions. This can include spanking, choking, slapping, anal, bondage, or anything else that has been agreed to in the blanket consent agreement. If there is anything that may take part in the scene that goes beyond the agreed upon consent limits, they must first be discussed and agreed upon.
There may be a blanket consent provided for the Dom to wake the submissive through penetrative sex, but unlike Free Use, the Dom may not have blanket consent to initiate penetrative sex at other times during the regular course of the day without first gaining consent.

Whatever you want your blanket consent structure to look like must be agreed upon by everybody and it is good practice to touch base on how it’s going at least monthly, though weekly is probably best at the beginning.

Consensual Non-Consent

This can seem a little tricky within the scope of a 24/7 dynamic. What the consent here is provided for is that the Dom may initiate a CNC scene with their sub without first asking permission to do so. This may seem like actual non-consent, but the consent was provided when the negotiations for this type of play occurred.

Being sure to keep to the boundaries that were agreed upon is incredibly important in these types of scenarios, so it doesn’t turn into something that people regret. An example of a common boundary is for the “attacker’s” face to be visible so the “victim” knows that the person involved is their partner and it’s part of the agreed upon scenario. This could evolve into the “attacker” wearing a specific item to let the “victim” know that it is them and it’s part of play so that they can keep their face covered.

This type of pre-consent to non-consent can add a layer of excitement and spontaneity to CNC play, creating a deeper sense of fear in the “victim” and excitement in the “attacker.” It ups the arousal for all participants and makes the scene more satisfying for everybody involved.

Wrapping it Up

24/7 dynamics are deeper and more intense than casual play partners. There are rules, constant negotiation, deep understandings of each other’s needs, and a sense of safety even when you happen to be pinned against the wall with tears running down your cheeks, being choked to near unconsciousness while getting absolutely railed.

To distill everything down we’ve talked about down into some bite-sized chunks, I hope that the below table will act as a quick reference guide.

If you’ve read this and find yourself wondering why the fuck would anybody want any of this to happen or do any of these things to another person, kink (at least this type of kink) isn’t for you, and that’s okay. We’re not here to try and convince anybody that need to try things that make them uncomfortable. We’re here to tell those who do enjoy these activities, even the extreme ones, that there is nothing wrong with them and that there is a community out there who will accept them.

Remember, it’s not okay to kink-shame. It is okay to kink-ask why! And we’re here to try and answer all the questions of “why.”