Devotional BDSM ‘How to’: Recommendations for Worship Techniques
written by Micah Brown
Last week, we began the conversation around what devotional BDSM is and what it means to be in a devotional dynamic. While it can be the exclusive aspect of your kink dynamic, devotional BDSM can also be a part of your larger dynamic. However, how you want your devotional BDSM to manifest within your relationships is going to be entirely up to you.
Our intention here is not to tell you how any specific aspect of worship must be done but to provide some guidance so that you can build on and create your own rituals and ways of worship. Unlike many religions, we don’t feel there is one correct way to worship within a devotional BDSM dynamic.
Forms of Body Worship
There is so much to worship on the body that we’re going to separate this out a little bit into various body parts and provide some ideas on how best to approach worship for each area. We will include some ideas for full-body worship as well, but since cunt worship is a type of body worship, we’ll have a section for that as well. Please take these outlines and create something that works for you, or scrap them entirely and build something that’s fully your own.
1. Foot Worship
Does anybody else remember the scene in the first Coming to America film where Eddie Murphy slowly removes the blankets from the feet of the woman he’s just slept with and they are not at al pretty and he freaks out a little about that? Well, people who love feet, tend to really love feet. And that’s awesome! Let’s explore great ways to demonstrate your love for feet and toes.
Massage
Perhaps one of the best ways to show your love to the feet of your Dom is by providing an excellent massage. Not to be done in a an clinical or professional manner, the massage you want to provide to your Dom is one that will fully demonstrate your love and adoration of them as well as their feet. Using a oil or cream scented specifically for them, kissing their feet and toes often, and showing a general reverence to the act of the massage will help them feel appreciated and help you feel your submission and reverence more acutely.
Bathing/Washing
The submissive act of washing the feet of your Dom is something that goes way back. The Bible talks about how Jesus washed the feet of his disciples to show that he was no better than they were. We have historical records of many leaders who had slaves and servants who would wash their feet for them.
Hot water, Epsom Salts, and scented oils make a great footbath
Bootblacking
This is not a pure form of body worship in that you are not directly giving attention to the feet. In this case, you are giving attention to the vehicle that houses the feet and making certain that they look their absolute best. The polishing of Dom’s footwear, whether or not it's actually boots, will boost Dom’s confidence in their appearance. Whatever rituals you create around bootblacking should reflect and enhance your D/s dynamic as a whole. For example, perhaps your Dom prefers you to perform these services while they are wearing their boots while you are in the nude or maybe wearing special lingerie or underwear. Or perhaps they would like it to be done when they are not wearing their boots and it just “magically happens” so they are ready to go when it’s time.
However you approach the practice, you want to be certain to perform the action with intention and reverence. This is your Dom's footwear, and it represents them to the world.
2. Cock Worship
First of all, you do not need to be a man to have a cock. Cock worship is just as possible for women who have cocks as men - and the same can be said for cunt worship. Please note that when we are talking about worship of these body parts, we are specifically talking about those body parts and do not associate them with any specific gender.
With that out of the way, cock worship has been around seemingly since the beginning of time. Likely due to the prevalence of patriarchal societies, the phallus was a frequent subject of not only art but also of graffiti (some things never seem to change). For those who partake in cock worship, they may view the cock as something powerful and may only feel truly complete when they are worshiping their Dominant’s cock or have their Dom(me)’s cock inserted into their body. This may drive the worshiper to be more sexual out of a need to feel complete with their Dom’s cock inside them.
The result of a pleasured cock is the release of semen, and this release may feel like a religious experience, even if they do not climax. Whether the Dom fills their submissive internally or coats the exterior of their body with their seed, it is proof to the submissive that their Dom has been pleasured and is rewarding them with the gift of their semen. For some, there is a direct line between cock worship and being a cum-slut for this very reason.
So, how do you worship a cock? The first rule of cock worship is to listen to your needs and the needs of your Dom. How cock worship is approached within your dynamic is going to be very personal, so once again, use our ideas, take what is useful, or create something entirely your own.
Oral Worship
While this may be viewed as little more than a blow job, this is not meant for the immediate sexual release of the cock being worshiped. Instead, the intention should be set to provide a maximum amount of pleasure over an extended period of time. Simply fucking the cock with your mouth is fun, but generally, it doesn’t fall into the worship category (your opinion may be different and it is valid).
For oral worship, you may want to have your Dom lie on their back and part their legs. You can start by massaging the cock gently, whether it is already erect or not is not important. If you use creams or oils for the massage, make certain they are ones that are safe to use on this area, digestible, and that they will not be unpleasant in your mouth. Kiss the tip of your Dom’s member and run your tongue slowly along the bottom of their cock. Pay attention to when it shivers and twitches as these are good signs you are providing pleasure. Groans and moans are even better, and being told you are doing a good job is the absolute cherry on top.
Place the head of the cock into your mouth and slowly swirl your tongue around the head of it. Take it out of your mouth and talk about what the cock means to you while stroking it softly and giving it kisses. Give yourself completely to the act of worship as you kiss, lick, suck, and praise your Dom’s cock.
As you get closer to knowing it’s time for your Dom to release their pleasure, where they release it will ultimately be up to them. Whether you swallow their gift or feel it upon your face or chest will be something you likely know before you begin and can anticipate. For worship, do not be rough when bringing them to climax; be firm and gentle and let the orgasm roll through their body.
Washing
Washing the cock of your Dom is a great way to show reverence and worship for the member. As opposed to simply putting soap and water on the appendage, performing a slow, sensual, and thorough washing can help bring your closer to your Dom and allow them to feel your devotion to them. When washing as a ritual or devotion, select special soaps and oils to properly pamper your Dom.
3. Cunt Worship
The vulva and vagina have long been considered mystical and holy in countless civilizations throughout our history. It is the place through which new human life emerges. Uterus-owners are the carriers of the next generation, they are the ones who build a life within their bodies and birth it out of their bodies. The fact that cunt worship exists should not be a mystery. While the world of men talks about God creating humanity, deep down I think we all know that it is those with uteruses who bear the gift of creation more so than others. Cunt worship can be a form of appraisal of that process or simply a 1-to-1 equivalent of cock worship.
The result of a pleasured cunt is orgasm. While the cock is a fairly simple organ to bring to climax, the cunt has traditionally been more of a “mystery.” The truth is, that viewpoint has more to do with the cis-male centric view of sex and sexuality and less to do with actual biology. It is true that a large percentage of people with vulvas do not climax during penetrative intercourse, but that doesn’t mean that bringing them to orgasm in other ways is difficult. The primary issue is the fact that nobody talks much about variation in how to pleasure a pussy.
We do not want anybody to think that we are unaware of the large swaths of people in the world at all points of the gender spectrum who have issues achieving orgasm at all. You should be aware that many of these people still enjoy sex even if they do not orgasm. As always, we encourage communication between yourself and your partner(s) to determine what will work best for you.
Oral Worship of the Cunt
When talking about worship and devotion concerning oral stimulation of the cunt we want to take the same approach that we did with the cock. Reverence here is key when you are approaching that area of the body to worship and show devotion.
Before beginning, you may want to provide a gentle massage beginning with the outer labia and slowly working around the vulva before moving into the folds and massaging around the inner labia. During the massage, you want to avoid the clitoris as the purpose here is to help relax your Dom, not shock them into arousal and need.
From this point, you can move your massage further inward, caressing around the opening to the vagina, but not inserting anything into the vagina itself. Keep the massage gentle and focused and follow the movement and response of their body as you touch them.
Only after your Dom has reached a relaxed state should you begin your oral worship. Kiss their outer labia and take a moment to breathe in their scent and bask in the glory of their cunt. Place a kiss around their clitoris without baring down on it or putting too much pressure on it. From here, you can begin to use the tip of your tongue to explore the crevices and folds of their inner labia. Stay gentle and focused, and do not become eager to taste them - this worship is not about you or your needs.
You can move your tongue around the entrance to their vagina at this point, but do not thrust your tongue into your Dom in the hopes of getting a taste of their sweetness. Instead, move your tongue straight up and barely touch the tip of your tongue to their clitoris, beginning to make soft circles around it. You will know your Dom and know best what type of pressure and attention to the clit is going to bring them the most pleasure without getting rough or needy with your attention. If they orgasm, this is your queue to end the worship and return to your knees, asking your Dominant what your next task should be if you do not already know.
Always thank your Dominant for the honor of allowing you worship and pleasure them.
Washing and Shaving
It is important to approach the washing of a pussy with some basic knowledge of how a pussy functions. The vagina is a self-cleaning organ, meaning that there is no need to get any kind of cleaning product into the vaginal canal. Washing the vulva should always focus only on the external parts of the vulva and never include the internal parts of the vagina as this could upset the biome of the vagina and lead to a yeast infection or vaginosis and then nobody is having a good time.
When washing the cunt of your Dominant, you want to be certain that you maintain a gentle reverence for everything you do. Do not use heavily scented cleansers, lotions, or oils as these can also upset the biome of the area.
When washing, you want to slide your hand between their legs and delicately apply the soap to the external parts of the vulva. Soap can be applied between the folds of the inner and outer labia when done so gently and without overdoing it.
Once the soap has been applied, you may carefully rinse off the area with warm water. Be sure to offer praise to your Dom around how much you love their cunt, how beautiful it is, and how honored you are to be able to have any kind of access to it.
You may finish the washing with a light, unscented moisturizer or skin oil.
If you are performing a shave of your Dominant’s pubic area, you might want to start with a gentle, small-grain scrub. Of course, you will want to be slow and gentle during the whole process. Cutting your Dominant in such a sensitive area will almost certainly have an unpleasant consequence for you. Unless your Dominant has provided instructions to the contrary, be sure to shave with the grain of the hair to avoid ingrown hairs and reduce the risk of cuts.
When the shave is complete, you will want to rinse the area and apply lightweight body lotion to the are to promote skin tone and help it to heal from the damage of shaving (even if you do not cut your Dominant, shaving does damage the skin).
When you have completed these tasks, you return to your knees and await further instructions if you do not already have tasks to perform.
More to Cum
Stay tuned as we will have more ideas on how to perform worship and devotion to your Dominant in a devotional and worship BDSM dynamic. Our intention is to educate and help you find your own way within your dynamic. We say it because we mean it, we repeat it so you understand it; there is no single “right way” to do this. All we can do is offer suggestions that may spark you own ideas or that you may tweak to make entirely your own. We talk about keeping things soft and gentle in a worship scenario, but it is possible that your dynamic would have that be rough instead.
We have knowledge to share, but we leave room for understanding that we cannot possibly know everybody’s dynamic or what works for them. Take what you need, leave what you do not need. Remember to stay safe, communicate, and stay kinky.
