What to Bring to a Kink Event: Your BDSM Packing List
written by Micah Brown
If this was a one-size fits all type of scenario, then this would be pretty short entry into our little blogosphere. Thankfully, there are so many different types of events that what you pack will depend on the type of event you’re going to. Is it a munch? Is it a convention? Is it a play part, and if so, what kind of play party? Is it a sex party?
Knowing what’s expected of you in any given situation will help you be better prepared with your bag-o-tricks for when you arrive.
What Do You Bring to a Munch?
A munch is very likely going to be the most vanilla type of event you attend in terms of the activities occurring at the event. A munch may be held at a bowling alley or a pub or a restaurant. These are not places where blatant kinky activity takes place. When attending a munch, it’s generally a good idea to bring yourself, a desire to socialize with other kinksters, and possibly an interest in learning about any topics that could be on the agenda for talking about (or sharing your knowledge).
Munches are casual, sometimes educational, and always free of overt kink activity.
The Afterparty…
It is important to note that many munches will have an afterparty and that the afterparty may not be as vanilla as the munch was. If there is an afterparty you will want to find out what the expectations of the party are, if there is a dress code, what activities are or are not allowed, and what the party Safe Word is.
If you are attending or think you might attend, you may want to bring a change of clothes, any toys you may want to use or have used on you, condoms (just always bring those everywhere), and anything else you feel you may need to feel comfortable at the party.
Play Party Packing
Because there are so many different types of play parties, I’m going to provide more broad strokes and leave the fine details for you to determine based on what you know of the party and those who are attending as well as knowing what you enjoy.
We’ll be talking about sex parties a bit further down. It’s important to note that not all play parties will allow for sex and sexual activities. While some who think kink is always just about the sex will be surprised to hear this, the fact is that kink is something much deeper than sex and kink does not require sex or sexual activity to be a part of the play. That being said, some parties will allow sex and sexual activities to occur in tandem with or as part of the play occurring at the party. If you’re not sure what will be allowed at the party, ask the host. They want people to ask questions so there aren’t surprises later.
I have attended parties that have had public toys available for use – items like paddles and floggers – I’ve never been to a party that had public toys that were meant for inserting into another person. I’ve never used public toys as my partner and I have a good collection of items we enjoy and I am a bit germ-o-phobic and the idea of using a public floggers just makes me squeamish. If you’re okay with it, then I encourage to go for it so long as you understand the risks associated with it.
Again, speaking in broad strokes, drawing blood will likely not be allowed at a play party, so leave your sharps at home. The caveat to that is if there is a demonstration of some kind that includes some kind of blood. If you want to know how I got into play piercing and cutting, ask me about the educational afterparty I went to in my younger years when I was just testing the waters of kink.
This is a safe packing list to make use of for a play party. Adjust as needed to fit your own personal needs, desires, and interests:
Condoms (always bring them even if it’s not a sex-oriented party – you never know)
A change of clothes
Toiletries (in the event of an overnight of some sort)
Any toys needed for your type of play
Disinfectant for the toys (and your body)
Lube (just in case)
Any items that help you feel safe (such as a stuffy, for example)
Most importantly, bring your sense of adventure, your secret exhibitionist, and go have fun with others who enjoy kinky escapades.
Sex Party Packing
Just as not all play parties are sex parties, it’s important to note that not all sex parties are play parties. Knowing what type of sex party, you’re signing up for will help you be prepared with the items you need to stay save, have fun, and cum often.
Condoms (Always – just always have them)
Lube
Toiletries if you’re spending the night OR if you need to shower after it’s all over
Any toys that you want and are allowed by the host
STI Test results (this is often a requirement for any sex parties)
An understanding of your boundaries and an ability to stand your ground
An agreement with your partner regarding what you’re each comfortable with when it comes to sex with other people (if you’re at a sex party, it’s probably fine, but you want to make sure you both understand the expectations around that)
The paramount thing with sex parties is going to be safety. Taking care of your sexual health and your body’s safety is incredibly important. That’s why I mention condoms so often. Some sex parties will allow for unprotected sex if you have STI Test Results within a certain timeframe – unless it’s being called out as a creampie party or bareback gangbang sort of party, then having and using condoms shouldn’t be an issue for anybody. If you are going to any kind of bareback party, you want to make certain you’re comfortable with the risk associated with having multiple sexual partners while engaging in unprotected sex. Risks of STIs and pregnancy are both higher in this type of environment.
Conventions!
Who doesn’t love a good kink-con?
Where a Comic-Con may have booths dedicate to superheroes, a kinky convention is going to have booths dedicated to super dildos and vibrators. There will be merchants intent on selling you the latest and greatest in tech for kink – whether it’s 3D printed dildos or violet wands (for eltro-play).
Depending on where a convention is being held will help inform you on what the expected dress code to be. Kink attire will always be seen on the event floor, but the amount of bare skin that can be shown will depend on what local laws are and what the venue’s rules are for such things.
If you plan on attending any forums or educational events, be sure to bring a notepad and writing utensil in the event you want to jot anything down.
With the practical parts out of the way, what else do you need for a kinky convention? If you want to grab any memories, bring your camera along (or your phone), but be sure to follow rules around allowed photography on the floor and in events.
You’ll also want to make sure that you have any toys you may want to use afterhours either with your partner, with somebody you met on the floor, or for an after-con play party. Don’t bring an entire chest of toys but also don’t bring just one or two.
And of course, bring condoms – just in case.
Closing it Out
Kinky events are fun. They’re more fun when you have all the things you need to feel safe, comfortable, and maintain a sense of enjoyment. Never be embarrassed to reach out to those who are organizing the event if you have any questions or concerns about it. Be certain to assess your own risk profile and make it a priority to set and maintain your boundaries.
And (you all know what I’m going to say) bring condoms.
Always bring condoms.
Stay safe, have fun, and keep being your delightful kinky selves.
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