5 tips on how to prepare for a BDSM event
Written by Katrina Fairhurst
Whether this is your first time or you have been attending them since you first entered the BDSM community, attending a play party is a fun way to meet others, create a community, and even learn some new kinks about yourself. Whether you prefer to watch from the sidelines or you and your partner(s) plan on getting in on the action, a play party can be a way to explore fantasies.
But how should you prepare yourself before attending? In this article, Obedience will walk you through some of the ways to prepare before you attend your next play party, from choosing an outfit to setting boundaries for the night.
How to choose what type of BDSM event you want to attend
Whether you're entering the BDSM community by yourself, for the first time or as a committed BDSM dynamic, there are different events you can choose from. From classes and workshops to help you safely navigate different equipment, dynamics, and scenes to play parties and fetish nights where you can dress up, enjoy a drink, and star in a scene.
When it comes to choosing, pick what interests you the most and research the BDSM event, who is attending or leading it, and where it is. You want to choose a BDSM event or play party that matches your level of intensity and interests so that you can enjoy yourself.
Prepare your outfit: what to wear to a BDSM event
For many play events, you will find that they come with a specific dress code; look it up and get inspired. No matter your tax bracket, you can easily find stunning BDSM outfits that suit your needs at affordable prices.
If you're attending with your partner, discuss if you will match, as well as if you are going to wear a collar or any other BDSM gear, such as a leash, collar, gag, or blindfold. Make sure you are comfortable and dress to impress.
To heighten your excitement, why not take the time to have a long shower, exfoliate, paint your nails, and do your hair and makeup while sliding into your outfit, no matter if you are wearing head-to-toe latex or just a slinky set of lingerie you can get into the right headspace and feel sexy.
Why you need to manage expectations and set boundaries when attending a BDSM event
If you're going to a BDSM play event, then you need to be prepared so that you will see others enjoying themselves and may want to as well. Managing your expectations isn't just about what you are expecting to do that evening but also recognizing that you are entering a safe space where others will also be exploring their own kinks, fetishes, and scenes that you may not want to enjoy yourself. While it is ok to not want to partake, you need to recognize that others aren't responsible for you being triggered or uncomfortable, and it is on you to remove yourself from the situation.
No matter if you are going with a partner or by yourself, setting your boundaries on what you will and won't do is necessary. This could be discussing if you will enter a scene, do anything public, or even you will play with others, practice safewords, and outline your aftercare plan. This allows you to relax, be safe, and have a good time within your own boundaries and limits.
Prep your goody bag for your BDSM play party
A good BDSM event or play party will offer you use of their BDSM equipment as well as condoms, lube, gloves, and cleaning equipment to be used at your own discretion. Knowing what you need to bring with you is also important.
For safe sex and politeness, bringing your own sex toys is crucial. Depending on if your play party is set in someone's residence, a dungeon, or a fetish club, you may see toys or BDSM tools like whips and restraints or vibrators around, but that doesn't mean they are allowed to be used. It also means you're not waiting around for your favorite toy to be free to use.
You might also want to bring water bottles or face wipes to clean yourself up after a scene.
Know the Rules: before attending a BDSM party
Before attending a play party, doing your research is key. From no drinking or drugs to carrying ID and following the dress code, make sure before you buy your ticket and attend your first BDSM play party what the dungeon rules are. This allows you to be safe, not overstep boundaries, and enjoy yourself.
Other key rules to know are: don't interrupt others' scenes unless you are otherwise invited into a scene, assuming that it is off-limits to you.
Another important rule is that “no is a complete sentence.” Autonomy and consent are crucial if you are going with others or by yourself and hoping to find someone to play with. If someone isn’t interested, politely move on. This is also important if you notice someone wearing a collar or has arrived with someone else.
Not respecting the rules, whether it's a public or private affair, can lead to you getting asked to leave early and not being allowed to come back again.
Preparing yourself to attend a play party is part of the fun, whether it's your first time or your hundredth. Choosing your outfit, getting ready, and even deciding with your partner what type of scene you want to partake in can be a great way to build anticipation and seduce yourself before you attend. But ensure your expectations are set, and you know the play party rules before attending.
To find out more about events join the Obedience BDSM community on Discord.
