Kinky Sexting: How to Enhance Your BDSM Dynamic with Erotic Texts, Pics, and Videos

written by Micah Brown

Before mobiles and smartphones there existed the Internet and a myriad of Instant Messaging services that kept everybody connected. Software such as AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) brought about the ability for the average person to be able to instantly type a message to another user on the other side of the world. As you can imagine, there was lots of sexy typing going on through these various platforms. However, it wasn’t technology that brought the idea of sexy writing into common use. As far back as we have written language, we have sexy letters.

The difference now is that we carry these devices around in our pockets and we can spend an entire day sending little messages back and forth to our partners to get them aroused, get them thinking about you, and, many times, ultimately get them off.

Okay, but what about kinky sexting? How can sexting be used to enhance your kinky dynamic?

How Dominants Can Use Sexting to Deepen Control and Desire

A Dominant can find many amusing ways in which to turn texting and sexting into something that will help their submissive feel more submissive and more at home in their submission. There are a myriad of ways in which a Dominant could decide to make use of sexting within the dynamic.

Sexting as a Pleasure Dom will likely have the Dominant driving the idea of pleasure and climax toward their submissive - often with the goal of either pushing for multiple orgasms to the point of overstimulation or withholding orgasm entirely until the submissive is in their presence. They can then provide the submissive with the earth-shattering orgasm they have been building over the course of the entire sexting event.

Another use of Sexting from a Dom would be for punishment. While sexting for punishment may not seem like much of a punishment, imagine a submissive at work trying to go about their day while their dominant is sending increasingly detailed accounts of what they will do to the sub, carefully picking from the sub’s fantasies and desires to get them as aroused as possible. Now add to this the idea that the submissive must do some sort of presentation that day, and now the submissive is flustered, aroused, and needing their Dominant to do ungodly things to them - but still somehow holding it together for their presentation.

There is, of course, the use of sexting between a Dominant and submissive who are experiencing either a long-distance relationship or being apart from each other for an extended period. The sexting can be a way for both of them to feel closer, for the submissive to know the hand of their Dom is not limited to physical touch, and that they can reach across the world through technology and still be there for them.

The Submissive’s Role in Sexting: Building Anticipation and Obedience

When sitting down and beginning to think about this piece, the first thing I ended up thinking of were brats sending naughty pics to their Doms even when they were told not to. I’m not sure why I felt it as amusing as I did, but I still smile as I sit here and think about it. Of course, a submissive does not have to identify as a brat to act like one on occasion.

Generally speaking, a submissive will be the one receiving the texts and responding to them rather than sending texts to be responded to, though this doesn’t always have to be the case. Aside from the traditional type of sexting that can occur, there is also the idea of being able to fully enter a roleplay through the medium of text.

A roleplay through text can allow the submissive to expand their role within the fantasy and become the character in a way they might not otherwise be able to do when acting it out in person. It also adds a layer of fantasy where things that might be impossible to enjoy the real world can be described and enjoyed from within the scene.

Using Photos and Videos to Enhance Your Kinky Sexting Experience

Sexting has evolved from words on a screen. The quality of images that one can get from a phone camera is incredible, and such images can add to the overall experience of sexting. Couple that with some video, and you’ve got a whole new world of possibilities.

With Obedience Premium, a Dom will no longer have to wonder if a submissive successfully completed a punishment they’d assigned. Now, the submissive can send video proof that they performed the punishment to the Dom's satisfaction (or, if they didn’t, they can perform the punishment again until the Dom decides they have). The Dom can also request images during the scene or throughout the day, and the sub, in turn, can beg their Dom for images they wish to see.

Wrapping It Up: Why Sexting Matters in BDSM Relationships

Texting has become an essential part of our daily lives and our communication. Sex has always been one of the most important parts of any relationship dynamic, so it’s no wonder that these two things crossed into each other. Nearly all complex life requires sex for reproduction, and humans are not an exception to that rule. While sex fulfills that biological desire to procreate, it also serves to bring us closer together both physically and emotionally.

However, when we are not close to each other and we are unable to touch and be touched, we have always found ways in which we can be sexual and feel sexual without being in the same space as the person we wish to be sexual with. Writing letters, sending photographs, shooting off emails, and now texting have all allowed us the ability to feel sexually close without actually having to be physically close to our partners.

From the avenue of Kink, this allows Doms and Subs to experience their dynamic even when they cannot physically be in the same space together.