You are punished: how to discipline your sub with Obedience

Written by María Añez.

Whether you are a Dominant looking to improve how to discipline and punish your sub or a submissive trying to understand the activities your Dom(me) puts into practice to discipline and keep you on your best behavior, this article is for you if you want to understand what roles do punishments play inside BDSM, sharing punishment ideas you can integrate to your D/s dynamic, and even a full step-by-step guide on how to use Obedience app to punish your submissive.

If you want to learn more about disciplining your submissive, keep reading until the end.

What is a punishment within BDSM

By definition, punishments are consequences, something a submissive pays for breaking the rules or failing to complete tasks their Dom(me) has set up. People in both roles must understand that punishments are earned for misbehaving, and following through with the punishment is a matter of accountability.

Yes, punishments demand accountability for both the Dominant and the submissive. The submissive must be compelled to receive the punishment their Dominant has set for them. Meanwhile, the Dominant must be in charge and on top of the game, ensuring they follow up with any necessary punishments a sub’s misbehavior might carry. 

Through this lens, we can understand that inside a BDSM scene or practice, punishments play an important role related to discipline. You know discipline is key if you are training your sub, helping them build good habits, or even taming a brat. Punishment for subs is a way for them to correct their behavior and atone for breaking the rules their Dom had set up.

In a D/s dynamic, the Dom takes the disciplinary role and should use punishment as a last resource to keep their sub on track when they break the limits. In their original definition, Punishments should be something the sub dreads to complete but has to do to stay on their Dom’s good side, but some practices bend this golden rule.

“Funishments” are another face of punishments. These are meant to be corrective and yet enjoyable. It can be seen as a role play inside a role play, where both parts go along with a particular practice that from the outside might look like a punishment but is actually a desired activity by the sub, for example, getting spanked and many other forms of impact play. In this case, the Dom doesn't want to teach a lesson, and the sub doesn’t want to learn; they both want to play with the ideas of what consequences are brought up by consciously misbehaving.

Why you should discipline your sub

Each Dominant/submissive dynamic is a universe on its own, with its own rules, limits, rewards, safewords, and even spaces for intimacy and connection. Discipline and punishment have their own well-earned space.

Just like rewards reinforce good behavior, punishments remind the sub of what’s expected of them, what happens when rules are broken, and the consequences of failing to live up to their Dom’s standards.

Punishments always go hand in hand with broken rules. For discipline to be effective and reinforce following the original rules and agreements between Dom and sub, punishment should only be as severe as the wrongdoing.

How to create engaging punishments for your sub

If you want to keep your sub on their best behavior, remembering to complete all habits and walking on eggshells when they fail to do so, we are leaving you some suggestions of punishments you can add to your Obedience profile.

Before getting into that list, check the habit-tracking templates created by our BDSM community.

Here is a list of ideas that can be added as punishment for your sub:

• Loose precious Obedience reward points

• Write pages in an essay on the consequences of your actions and the importance of discipline

• Write 100 times a repeated phrase like “I should never break X rule”

• Inforce chastity and orgasm denial

• Nipple torture

• Bondage in an uncomfortable (yet, safe position)

• Using a rubber gag

• Serve as slave

• Become the Master’s most comfortable table, chair, or home decor

• Stay in a submissive position or kneel down for X time

• Being handcuffed

• Being whipped

• Make them do tedious tasks like working on household chores

• For long-distance D/s dynamics, a good option is showing photo proof of self-submissive practices like self-spanking. You can add photo proof as a conditional for completing a punishment with the Obedience app.

• Corner time

• Eat from a dog bowl on the floor

• Being blindfolded

• Wax torture

• Force silence

• Take away their favorite toy

• Loose the right to wear underwear. You can request photo proof.

• Removing certain privileges

How to create punishments for your sub with Obedience app

As a Dom(me), you need to set up a basic agreement with your sub about overall limits and safety measures around your BDSM practices and scenes. 

To do that, you can go to the Notes section and share your “Rules” and “Limits” sections, fill them out, and share them with your partner on the Obedience app. This is helpful for all kinds of dynamics, especially for those involved in 24/7 practices.

Now that you have covered limits and safety, it’s time to come up with a list of punishments that match the breaking of any rules you have set up or the tasks you have scheduled for your sub.

To create a punishment for your submissive, go to the Obedience App and tap or click on the Punishment icon. Then tap on the “+” button. This will open a new screen where you can add a punishment name and description and enable (or not) whether your submissives can complete the punishment themselves.

Once your sub has completed the punishment, you will get a timely notification to keep track of their habits.

But what about the point system used for Rewards? Well, you can also tweak that to make incomplete tasks act as punishment by losing points.

This is what you have to do as Dom(me) on Obedience, go to “Rewards” and tap on the “+” button. When adding a reward, set up a cost in points. Your sub will gain those points if they complete the task on time, or they will lose them, acting as a punishment for failing to do them.

As you can see, there are many ways to use Obedience app to keep your sub on track and help them build good habits or teach them how to be obedient with these engaging features.

Want to learn more about how to punish and discipline your sub? Join the Dom Talk on our Discord community.

Are you ready to update your sub’s punishments with these pieces of advice? Sign up or log in to Obedience.