How to take the first steps into a 24/7 BDSM lifestyle
Written By Katrina Fairhurst
For some, BDSM is a part of their sex life and added spice that they can choose to indulge in when the mood is right. For others, it is intricate scenes between them and their partner where they indulge in Domination/submission or Bondage/discipline set within specific time frames and scenes, either before, during, or after sex or without sex at all. However, others are looking for something a little more permanent; this is what is called a 24/7 BDSM lifestyle.
It is important to note that these relationships are rooted in consent; anything else isn’t a 24/7 relationship. A BDSM contract is usually drawn up before starting a 24/7 BDSM relationship, setting out roles, what the power exchange will entail, boundaries, safewords, and even hard limits. Submissives are not required to lose their autonomy and always have the right to withdraw consent, like Doms, who have the option not to want to be ‘on’ or strict all the time.
For some, a 24/7 BDSM relationship can be a mindset of recognizing each other as Dom/sub without needing to act on it, and for others, it can be something more physical. From choosing to play with the ‘daddy/baby girl’ dynamic in everyday life, wearing a collar permanently to show that you have a Dominant, entering a sexual free-use agreement, and even having your Dominant control your life and set tasks for you or choose your clothes.
Entering a 24/7 BDSM lifestyle can be different for everyone, but one thing remains the same: it is a total power exchange relationship (otherwise referred to as a TPE relationship.) Keep reading to learn more about this dynamic.
Kinds of submissive control you can work into in a 24/7 BDSM relationship
One of the most common practices in a 24/7 BDSM relationship is time control. As a Dom/Domme you can control your submissive’s time deciding what they do with their day. A Dominant might set out their sub's day with tasks or determine if they can leave the house.
In the same realm of a total power exchange relationship, some subs want to give up total control of their lives and their bodies, including when they go to the bathroom.
Another physical approach to submission is posture or pose control. From kneeling and crawling to standing with their arms behind their back, a Dominant might control how their submissive poses in front of them. This can be throughout the day or a specific set of instructions for when they come home or are in the bedroom. It could also include rules like having to back away from them or being unable to look in their eyes or turn their backs.
In some 24/7 relationships, the dominant's control extends to the wardrobe and appearance of their submissive, from being naked to what outfit or makeup they wear that day. Wardrobe or appearance control also includes getting a haircut, changing the color of their hair, and even getting their nails done.
Wearing a collar can be a symbol of commitment inside the community indicating a submissive is already involved with a Dom.
Collaring is one of the most common forms of a 24/7 BDSM relationship, where a submissive wears a collar to show that they are in a committed relationship with others in the community. It could be something they only wear at BDSM parties or indoors or something incorporated into their everyday wardrobe.
From using chastity devices to denying their submissive the ability to masturbate or orgasm, orgasm control can be one of the ways a couple may enter a BDSM relationship. On the other hand, they may decide when they can engage in sexual acts or even choose how many orgasms a submissive can have, partaking in edging and overstimulation/multiple orgasms as part of a scene.
A non-physical approach to a 24/7 BDSM relationship includes the control of the finances and career of their submissive. Although this might not be for everyone, it usually includes deciding how much money they have and what they can use that money for. In certain relationships, it could involve giving their submissive a monthly allowance for rent, bills, clothes, etc, or making it so that the submissive has to ask their Dominant for the money.
How to incorporate service submission into a 24/7 BDSM dynamic
Servitude or service submission is a practice that involves the sub in performing tasks for their Dominant. In a 24/7 BDSM relationship, this means that the sub caters to every whim of their Dom.
From cleaning to providing food and drinks to their master to sexual release and kneeling at their feet as they work, a full-service submissive is when they partake in consensual slave play.
How does free-use work in a daily BDSM dynamic for couples
The practice of free-use has two pillars, one is the desire to be used and give complete control to the other, and the other is the consent from both parties. Unrestricted use usually focuses on sexual dominance and means that the Dominant is free to use their submissive any way they choose at any time.
From cockwarming and oral as they work at a desk to more sexual activities when they are completing their chores. This can add some extra intensity and fun to the situation as the submissive is left on edge, never knowing when they will be used.
Incorporating pet play into a 24/7 BDSM dynamic
This kind of role-play is part of many 24/7 BDSM relationships. From pony play to pretending to be a household pet, there are a variety of ways you can incorporate pet play into your day-to-day dynamic.
Here are some common practices for subs you can bring into the daily practice: wearing a mask or leash and collar to being treated like a dog, drinking out of a water bowl, playing fetch, going on walks as a pet, or having to sleep on a crate.
Pet play can add a new dynamic to a 24/7 BDSM relationship, further taking away the control of the submissive.
If you're looking to incorporate BDSM into your everyday life easily, the Obedience app can help you to track and monitor your sub, set them tasks, and even set rewards and punishments. Sign up for free or login to your account.
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