Discover solo submission: enjoying BDSM on your own
Written by Katrina Fairhurst
When entering the world of BDSM, it can feel like everyone is paired or grouped off, a world of sensation and play that only accepts those in relationships, for those who are single or looking to indulge in some solo play, it can make the world of kink and BDSM feel closed off. However this is not the case and there are many ways that you can enjoy BDSM on your own.
In this article we will explore the world of solo submission, touching on some creative ways you can bring it into the bedroom and how to do it safely.
In which ways can you practice BDSM on your own
So how can you enjoy BDSM on your own? Below Obedience has set out some of the ways you can add BDSM to your life. From setting tasks, rewards and affirmations to spicing up your masturbation time.
Affirmations, rewards, punishments
When you complete a task why not call yourself a ‘good XXX’ like you would like a Dom to do to you? Or when getting yourself off, why not incorporate dirty talk into your voiceover? As well as this, why not set yourself certain tasks throughout the day and punish or reward yourself in a fun sexy way depending on if you get through them?
Spanking, Flogging
From using an open hand on your thigh to buying yourself a flogger or paddle to enjoy some impact play can be a great way to unwind and heighten sensations.
Temperature Play
From drip candles to ice, temperature play can be an easy way to add some BDSM into your solo play. Slowly roll an ice cube over your body or safely drip wax on to your thighs to create intense sensations and turn yourself into a beautiful canvas as the wax dries on your body.
Restraints
From cuffs to BDSM tape, you can easily restrain yourself on your own. Whether its part of your masturbation routine or something you do outside of sex, wearing cuffs, collars and restraining yourself can be a way to help you enter subspace easily and safely without needing to indulge in any other form of BDSM play. However make sure that you keep one hand free for easy removal
Overstimulation, Edging, Orgasm Denial
Orgasm torture can be a great way to incorporate BDSM into your bedroom as a single person. Whether it's denying yourself and orgasm because you were bad that day (such as not completing all your tasks), edging yourself till your hsaking or overstimulating yourself with fingers, toys or even a fucking machine till you can’t anymore.
Nipple Torture
From ice and pinching to buying yourself a pair of nipple cuffs to pinch, tug and torture your nipples can be a fun punishment for yourself if you haven't completed all your day to day tasks.
BDSM Audio Erotica
Audio erotica has become a great way to enjoy solo play with some extra guidance. From guided masturbation sessions to BDSM focused audio erotica including dirty talk or affirmations, immerse yourself in your fantasies by listening to your favorites as you indulge in a solo BDSM session.
Exhibition, Voyeurism
The world of the internet isn’t just for porn or researching, with dedicated BDSM forums and webcam sites you can indulge in your interest for exhibition or voyeurism without needing to leave your bedroom. These sites allow you to connect with a stranger and interact with them. You could get them to give you directions or vice versa or just have them watch as you enjoy yourself.
So now we have some ideas for how you can enjoy solo BDSM but how do we make sure that we are safe?
Solo Submission: How to be safe
Of course, like with any form of BDSM play, practicing solo submission requires you to know how to be safe. From correctly using BDSM toys by yourself and recognizing your own boundaries to understanding the type of solo BDSM play you are looking to try. It is doubly important as a person trying BDSM on their own, you are the only person with you so you need to be able to safely communicate and recognize when you have met your limits as there won’t be anyone else able to keep an eye on you. Here are some of the ways that you can enjoy solo BDSM and be safe.
Firstly, reading, following BDSM practitioners on YouTube and social media and attending BDSM workshops for single people, can be a great way to safely learn about and explore your fantasies and kinks as you enter the BDSM community. Learn from practiced Doms and subs who have years of experience to correctly tie yourself up and learn the tricks to safe solo BDSM play. By reading and researching solo BDSM play you can also determine if this is something you may want to try or if it will just remain a fantasy.
Secondly, when it comes to tying yourself up, using anything to block your airway or even gagging yourself, always make sure that you leave one hand free, this allows you to easily escape or untie yourself once the scene is done. It also allows you to adjust the restraints if you find that you have accidentally tied yourself too tight.
Thirdly, have a safeword and aftercare plan like you would if you were exploring BDSM with a partner or in a group setting. Practice using your safeword when you are on your own to gain confidence and administer aftercare to stave off sub-drop and take care of yourself. Whether it’s a cup of tea and a snack or a long bath and curling up under a blanket, taking care of yourself after a scene is necessary.
Finally, recognize your limits and boundaries, and don't push yourself. Whether you're using a flogger or paddle to administer a spanking, tying yourself up, or having fun exploring overstimulation and dirty talk, if you find that something makes you uncomfortable or is too intense, remember to stop and don’t keep pushing yourself.
As you can see, the world of BDSM is not for only those who are coupled up. There are many ways you can enjoy submission and BDSM play all on your own.
For more ideas on how to practice solo submission and meeting like-minded persons join the Obedience community on Discord.
