Age Regression and Age Play: Healing Your Inner Child with Caregiver-Little Dynamics

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Written By Maja Metera

written by Maja Metera

This article includes an available for import Obedience app template for Caregiver-little dynamics at the end

 

If you ever stumbled into the mental health and well-being part of social media - you might be familiar with the concept of “healing your inner child”. The idea relates to working through childhood experiences, reliving joyful moments stained with negativity - so that they have less of an impact on your adult life. What is a better way to do that than letting the child in you fully come out in a safe environment of a CGl dynamic?

What is the “Inner Child”?

In our childhood, we often go through so-called “unsafe experiences” - from abuse and neglect to criticism, shame, and pressure to perform in a specific way. According to the famous psychiatrist and Freud’s student Carl Jung, no matter the severity of the experience - it impacts our perceptions and behaviors, forming our “inner child” in the process. Then, the inner child is said to be responsible for over 90% of our behavioral and thought patterns. In other words, what you learned and absorbed as a kid decides how you act now as an adult.

Those automatic reactions can be problematic on multiple levels - disturbing your well-being or even hurting your loved ones in the process. For example, if your parents were not showing you love and affection - you might tend to choose emotionally unavailable partners and become avoidant yourself (more on that in this article). The good news is that those patterns and experiences can be rewritten. Most people go to therapy to work through them - but some have another healing tool available to them, and that is what this article will guide you through.

Differences between age play and age regression

Age play is a type of role-play in which consenting adults pretend to be younger or older than their biological age. Usually, one of the participants acts like a baby, small child, or a teen - while the other takes on a guiding role. They can retain their biological age or act older than their counterpart e.g. a teenager babysitting a toddler.

Age play is often confused with age regression - psychologically reverting to a younger age, “trying to achieve childhood innocence” (according to Jung). Although they often go together, they are not the same thing. What is important to mention is that anyone engaging in age play without age regressing has full control over what they want to do, when, and how - and can role play any age, even being elderly. On the other hand, for an age regressor, the age they feel like is always younger than their biological age. They do not pick how old they feel and might even fall into the little headspace involuntarily.

Your personal Little Space

So what does feeling little or being in little space mean? It is difficult to describe - and I am saying that as a Little myself. Sometimes, one minute, I am on top of my adult activities, and the next I want to be held with a plushie in one hand and a sippy cup in the other. The voice can also become more high-pitched, and the mouth seems to feel more. In other words, little space shows up as wanting to be taken care of, guided, and to engage in kid-like behavior and activities.

That being said, how someone experiences little space is very personal and depends on the age they feel best re-enacting or one they regress to. From adult babies who are non-verbal through toddler and kindergarten littles to middles who fall somewhere between tween to teen ages - there is no one set way to be “little”. You do not even have to know the exact age you are feeling like - but it is useful to have a developmental stage in mind as it makes picking outfits, items, and activities much easier.

Are CGl dynamics pedophilia?

Age play is a kink, and as with every preference within BDSM - it can be sexual or non-sexual. However, no matter what - it retains the fundamental elements of all BDSM practices. Therefore, it is negotiated prior between consenting adults and built within everyone’s boundaries. So no - you are not having sex with a kid or abusing anyone by engaging in age play.

Things get a bit more complicated when we add age regression to the mix. Since regression is a coping mechanism involving “the reversion of the ego to an earlier stage of psychosexual development, as a reaction to an overwhelming external problem or internal conflict” - the person experiencing it is not only acting like a kid, but they also feel like one. Thus, they are not in a state of mind to give consent to sex. Consequently, age regression is not considered sexual - which explains why people who age regress but are not part of the BDSM community often underline that their way of coping and healing is not a kink and they do not wish to be sexualized. If your partner regresses during play - have protocols in place as well as stop and check in because they most likely need to move to the aftercare stage of the scene.

Healing properties of Little Play

When working on healing your inner child, you are encouraged to follow steps that usually go something like this: acknowledge the presence of your inner child, show them kindness and understanding through self-compassion practices, relive childhood memories with the help of your adult self, engage in activities you liked as a kid.

It can be difficult to be the child and the parent at the same time - reliving trauma and pain while trying to soothe the kid you used to be. It makes it even harder to immerse yourself in the work that you are doing for yourself. That is why some people - especially those living a vanilla life - choose to go through this process with a therapist. It is a great solution if you want to focus on gaining coping skills or releasing pent-up emotions to gain a sense of closure around past experiences.

However, you can also reparent yourself by proving to your inner self that how you used to be treated is not what you are stuck with forever. You can live out your childhood dreams with a Caregiver who treats you well. You can allow yourself to be vulnerable - and grow closer to your trustworthy partner as they support you on your journey. If you are a Caregiver, feel free to skip to the next section of this article - written specifically for you.

Lastly, little space is a useful relaxation technique that makes putting your adult responsibilities on the side much more doable. You can tap into the childlike wonder and curiosity to gain a renewed sense of enjoying life and seeing past your self-imposed limitations.

Advice for Caregivers

1. Do your research on your little and Cgl

The first thing every Caregiver should do is theoretical research about age play and, even more importantly, age regression. Then, they should interview their partner about their experiences. Talk about their childhood, what brought them joy, and what they wish their parents had done differently. This will give you an idea of how to move forward to benefit the little most.

2. Check your own boundaries with the BDSM dynamic

It is important that you do not lose or forget about yourself in the process of supporting your little one. You need to know whether you are comfortable taking on this guiding, nurturing role and your possible limits within this dynamic. A big no-no that drives a lot of Dominants away from Cgl - despite being a mere symbol of those dynamics rather than a big issue - is changing diapers - think about how you feel about it, why, and whether it genuinely applies to your relationship. We encourage you to apply this thought process to all elements of age play or age regression that you stumble upon during your research.

3. Be playful with your little sub

You need to put aside your pride and fear of looking weird - the same way you would play with an actual kid. You would make fun of yourself while keeping your position as an authority figure. You would listen to them talk about things they find interesting - and fuel their interests with toys, books, and activities. You can channel the same love and playfulness in your relationship with a little.

Then, figure out the nicknames best for you and your little one. You can save the graphic below, tick some of the ones you like and compare your answers together.

On top of that, littles appreciate little acts showing that you are okay with their little space. Preparing kiddo snacks and nostalgic movie nights, stocking them on adult diapers, helping pick onesies and pacifiers (and there are A LOT of decorated options), and organizing a trip to a theme park or a zoo are just some of the things that have a potential to make your little feel accepted. 

4. Implement the structure littles want with Obedience

On the same note of support and acceptance, we recommend including habits, rewards, and punishments that acknowledge the ‘smol’ side of the submissive in your Obedience app routine. Those can include regular little space time, pampering, and corner time.

We included those and more elements in the Obedience template below to make the setup easier. You can import it by clicking the button below, then choosing “Import template” and logging into your Obedience account. All habits, rewards and punishments included in the template will be automatically added to the submissive’s routine. After that, you can adjust it as you wish.

What have we learned about Cgl?

In conclusion, we examined the role of age regression and age play within Caregiver-little dynamics as therapeutic tools. We talked about differences between age play and age regression while focusing on including them in BDSM practices. We explained that engaging in "little space" allows individuals to reconnect with and nurture their inner child, providing emotional relief and fostering growth. Caregivers were advised to embrace their roles with empathy, openness, and clear boundaries to ensure a supportive and safe healing environment. Through this exploration, we learn that these dynamics can offer a unique and meaningful way to enhance emotional well-being outside traditional therapy settings.

 

Resources:

Maja Metera
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