In the realm of breath play, choking can be one of the more risky activities in a list of activities that are all extremely risky. Today, we’re going to be doing a bit of a deep dive into choking as a kink, how it can be different from other forms of breath play, what the risks are, and how those risks can be reduced, but not eliminated. When it comes to risks in this corner of kink, it’s important to note that they cannot be eliminated, only reduced.

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What are the risks of breath play? On the extreme side of things is death. Slightly up from death is brain damage. Up from brain damage, we get to nerve damage, muscle damage, bruising, esophageal damage, and psychological scarring.

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Before we get too ahead of ourselves, let’s talk about what breath play is.

What is Breath Play?

As you might think from the title, breath play is the act of using items to restrict oxygen from entering the body of the breath play bottom. This can be accomplished through the use of a variety of tools and methods. Manual strangulation, using tools like rope or cords to strangle, smothering with pillows or other such items, plastic bags, and more.

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By restricting oxygen flow to the brain and then allowing it to suddenly return in a rush can produce incredibly powerful orgasms, a sense of euphoria, and generally increase the sensation of pleasure that goes along with sexual activity.

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Due to the nature of this sort play, it tends to be the most common sort of kink that ends up in the news due to death or serious injury. I’m sure there are many of you who remember that David Carradine died from autoerotic asphyxiation and that rumors around the death of Michael Hutchence, the lead singer of the band INXS, had attributed his death to autoerotic asphyxiation, though this was debunked by the coroner who ruled it a suicide.

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To be clear, all the deaths I found in my research were from the act of autoerotic asphyxiation, which is the act of strangling yourself (or otherwise restricting oxygen to the brain) during sexual arousal and masturbation. While I’m sure there have been accidental deaths caused by breath play, I was unable to find specific instances of accidental deaths involving couples. I did find more information than you would probably ever want on how erotic asphyxiation has been used in homicides, especially by serial killers, but that’s not why we’re here today.

Breath Play Practices

The two most important safety practices of any breath play activity include making sure to have a safety signal and only fully block oxygen for 30 seconds at a time, making sure they have time to recover before reapplying pressure. As many aspects of breath play do not allow for a safe word since the mouth is covered or no oxygen can reach the vocal folds, it’s best to come up with a plan for some kind of safety signal that will allow the bottom to quickly alert the top that they need to stop. It’s not like when somebody is wearing a gag but can still hum the opening line to the theme song of the 1990s sitcom sensation Friends. A common practice is to provide the bottom with a device that will make sound when pressed or squeezed. Even better is a device that will make sound after it’s no longer being squeezed or pressed. Something that will make a loud noise when dropped or a button that, when released, will send a signal to the stereo to start playing music – think of it like a Dead Man’s Switch, except instead of a bomb going off, it’s Beethoven’s 5th suddenly blasting from the speakers. Less technical safety signals can be a set of keys held in the hand that will make lots of noise when dropped, or having them hold a bell that they can ring. There are other possibilities for safety signals as well, so go ahead and brainstorm with your bottom if this is a type of play you wish to pursue.

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For those kinksters who take part in breath play, there is often, but not always, a specific type of breath play that’s preferred. For some, it might be rope or cord wrapped around the neck. For others, it might be pillows over the face or other forms of suffocation. The most visible type of breath play, however, is choking. For many of us, it may have been the first window into kink when we were first finding porn on the internet. The act of choking a partner during sex is very prevalent act in porn. While it may not be full breath play, you will often see the top putting a hand on the throat of the bottom.

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For some, a hand on the throat is going to be all that’s needed to experience a heightened sense of pleasure and enjoyment. For many, it’s an arousing sensation to trust somebody enough to let them have their hand on your throat knowing they could decide to squeeze, but also knowing that they wouldn’t unless you asked them to.

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Of risky behaviors, this is the least risky of them. As there is no squeezing occurring during this, it’s a safe way to play with power exchange while allowing yourself to feel vulnerable and giving the top a sense of control. The risks involved with this less severe type of breath play mostly revolve around accidental choking should a sudden shift in position occur, and a small risk of breaking the Adam’s apple if too much pressure is applied suddenly and at a strange angle.

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There are more severe risks involved with other activities.

Reducing the Risks of Manual Strangulation (Choking)

Manual strangulation is the most common form of choking in breath play, but you can also perform it using cords, rope, twisted bed sheets, and pretty much anything else that can go around a neck and apply pressure. Because this method of choking involves a much more hands-on approach to asphyxiation, it can also be an activity that has a lower risk than other forms, but again – that’s not to say there is NO risk.

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As mentioned above, simply laying a hand across the neck of the bottom doesn’t have a high risk of severe damage or consequence. While there is still risk involved, it’s not severe.

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Now, let’s say you’ve put a hand around the bottom’s throat and you’ve begun to squeeze hard enough to start restricting the amount of air they’re able to breathe. In this case, there are several risks at play. Using a single hand around the throat may look cool when you’re watching porn, but there isn’t a film crew or a medical professional on hand in the event that something goes wrong. If you slip, lose your balance, or shift your weight suddenly you risk injury to the bottom that may include breaking the Adam’s apple (men and women have Adam’s apples, though they are generally less prominent in women), crushing the windpipe, or even tearing muscles inside the throat.

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To reduce the possibility of these types of damages, you use two hands around the throat the instead of one. This position can help keep you anchored and less likely to lose your balance and throw your weight into the bottom’s neck suddenly. It also allows you more control over the act of choking, allowing you to make small adjustments to change the experience for your bottom.

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If you’re choking somebody from behind using something like a sleeper hold, don’t fully block oxygen for more than 30 seconds at a time and make sure that the bottom has enough time to recover before applying pressure again. I know this is a good rule for all types of breath play, as mentioned above, but any time you cannot see your bottom’s face, you really want to stick to this particular rule.

Other Safety Considerations

When it comes to other breath play practices, you will learn your own risk profiles as you get deeper into the world of breath play. I cannot force you to be safer than what you’ve agreed upon in your own dynamic, but I can provide some guidance and options for remaining as safe as possible while performing objectively unsafe activities.

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If you’re planning on using plastic bags for asphyxiation, make sure the plastic can be easily torn open in the event you need to get through it quickly for the sake of your bottom.

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When it comes to rope or cord begin wrapped around the next, do not twist it together. Twisting it together only makes it that much more difficult to get free if you find yourself in a situation where the bottom must be released quickly.

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Keeping on the theme around rope, do not hang your rope bottom. Ever. I cannot recommend this activity and I cannot think of a way that would make it low-enough risk for me to ever considering recommending it as an activity. While those who have practiced this in the past take great care in slowing raising their bottom off the ground by their neck, you must realize that should the bottom end up convulsing for any reason, it could snap their neck, and leave you in a very bad place.

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Never use zip ties or other locking materials to wrap around a throat and lock into place. There is no easy way to get a ziptie off a neck without cutting it, and if it’s tight enough to require a cut, it’s likely embedded in the skin and will result in additional damage to the bottom

Stay Safe and Have Fun

I cannot recommend breath play to you as an activity. If it’s something you enjoy, then I hope this has helped you see it a more safety oriented manner. Breath play is dangerous, as are many activities related to kink. Understanding your risk profile will help you determine if breath play is right for you.

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Keep safety at the forefront of your mind when you delve into kink, because none of what we do it safe, so we must do our best to make sure that everybody is as informed as they can be about activities that can cause serious harm.

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