written by Micah Brown

This article was written in response to one of the questions asked in the “Ask Me Anything” box on Instagram. AMA Monday happens every first Monday of the month. Come join us to have your questions answered!

Male, female, genderless, gender-fluid – if you enjoy pleasuring a penis with your mouth, then this article is for you.

Evolution designed us to have a penis that enters a vagina, releases sperm, which finds an egg, and creates life to continue the species. When somebody is using their mouth on a penis, it is really just a faux vagina with teeth and a tongue. On the surface, that sounds rather horrifying. Who would want teeth anywhere near their penis (generally speaking, we don’t kink shame)? Well, perhaps one of the reasons you’re reading this is that you want to know more about how to get your teeth out of the way while you’re busy pleasuring a penis. You may also want to know a little more about how to get that gag reflex under control so that you can get that dong deeper down.

Cock and Teeth

There is something to be said for the appropriate use of teeth when giving a blowjob, but that also has to do with personal preference and technique. While some may enjoy a light, intentional scrape along the shaft, others may want a partner to bite down a little during oral time. Many others likely prefer that teeth do not make contact with the member at all during a blow job. Figuring out what your penis-having partner enjoys is going to help you perfect your technique and be able to provide the most pleasure for both of you.

Okay, so if you’re new at giving blowjobs, trying to determine exactly how to keep teeth away from a penis may feel a little daunting. It’s kind of like thinking about what you do with your hands when you’re walking and realizing you have no idea, and becoming very self-conscious about it. Teeth are a little bit the same, except they don’t really have the ability to move out of the way with individual muscles.

Your initial thought may be to immediately pucker your lips like you’re pretending to have been punched in the face and lost all your teeth. While covering your teeth with your lips is a good way to keep them from contacting the penis, it’s also a very static method of providing a blowjob and may not provide the most pleasure or sensation.

The enjoyable thing about using a mouth on a penis is that it can provide different sorts of sensations. How you hold your lips, if you suck in your cheeks, the sensation of lips dragging up the shaft while a tongue swirls around the member… There’s so much that can be done orally you don’t want to waste the experience by simply using your lips to cover your teeth.

So, what can you do?

Well, practice. If your partner wants to help you, you can practice on them or you can find an anatomically correct dildo or vibrator to practice on, or get a banana or cucumber. What you want to do is learn where your teeth are when you’re giving head. In much the same way a ballerina has to learn where their body is when they’re twirling with fifteen other dancers surrounding them, you have to learn where your teeth are in relation to the cock in your mouth. It takes practice.

A living, breathing practice partner is a great way, assuming they’re okay with some scrapes and maybe some discomfort while you’re learning. I would bet they’re still interested in helping out.

If you’re too embarrassed to try on a real, human partner, then you can move to the sex toys or the fruits. The upside is that they won’t complain if you accidentally scrape them too hard, the downside is that they don’t have a voice to encourage you when you’re doing a good job.

If you do decide to use a fruit, I would actually recommend a banana. Because the skin tends to bruise so easily, it will be easier to determine where your teeth made contact, if they made contact, with a banana.

Avoiding the Gag

I hate listening to anybody gag or wretch, so hearing that noise when somebody is giving me a blowjob is an immediate turn-off for me. Trying to tame the gag reflex is one of the top concerns folks have when talking about getting better at giving blowjobs. There’s quite a bit of well-intentioned but incorrect information available for how to get better at controlling that reflex.

First, the gag reflex is actually very important for survival. It’s there to help keep us from choking on things that attempt to go down the wrong pipe or that show the possibility of blocking the throat. The purpose is to expel the foreign body as quickly and as efficiently as possible, sometimes resulting in vomiting to try to clear the path.

There are some folks who very much enjoy that extreme level of experience and play, and I say more power to them so long as everybody is a fully informed and consenting adult. If that’s your jam, I suspect you’re not reading this article as this is how to avoid that situation.

Much like breathing, we can learn how to control our gag reflex when we set our mind to it. We’re not turning it off entirely, but turning it off for those moments that we wish to have something further down our throat than our body might otherwise feel comfortable with. You will still gag if you try to inhale a whole cherry or something.

So, how do we go about helping to alleviate that pesky reflex when we want to be swallowing a huge dong? Once again, practice, though in this case I would recommend against a living, breathing human partner and stick to inanimate objects for the very beginning of this training. In the event that you end up vomiting, you don’t want to have done that all over your partner’s privates.

Here are the basic steps to start your throat training:

1. Take your object of choice firmly in your hand.

2. Tilt your head back and open your mouth.

3. Carefully insert your pretend dick into your mouth until you reach the point just before your gag.

4. Hold it there for 30 seconds or longer, and then move it further down your throat very slightly

5. Continue to move it slowly down your throat and pause for at least 30 seconds every time you move.

6. If you happen to gag, start the process over.

7. Don’t spend too much time on it at once – after you’ve gagged a couple of times, stop for the day.

8. Keep going until you have reached the desired depth and can hold it there for 30 to 60 seconds.

9. Start playing around with thrusting and swallowing around the cock to add additional sensation to your partner’s enjoyment.

These are very basic instructions to get you started. As you get further with how deep you can take a phallus down your throat, the more you can experiment with other aspects of the blowjob itself.

Tongues Aren’t Just for Pussies

Anybody who enjoys giving or receiving cunnilingus understands the importance of the tongue for that act. Believe it or not, the tongue can play a vital role in oral sex on penises as well. Having a cock down your throat and then using your tongue on the space on the underside of the penis just below the head can have an incredibly visceral effect on many of the penis-having community. The tongue can also be used to swirl around the shaft, adding a new layer of sensation as you drag your lips up the shaft, and it can be used to put pressure in various areas to increase overall pleasure.

Learning techniques with the tongue is something to work on after you’ve mastered the art of avoiding teeth and deep throating. It adds that extra layer that can make your skills not just pleasurable, but legendary.

Cleanup

Look, providing pleasure to a penis may feel like a much easier task than trying to pleasure a vulva. And perhaps that’s true in the most basic sense, but if you want to take your ability to provide oral pleasure from ordinary to extraordinary learning skills around your teeth, throat, and tongue are going to help you give your partner orgasms they never imagined possible.

So, get a pillow, get on your knees, and start having some fun.