Glossary of BDSM Terminology
Whether you’re a newbie or an experienced BDSM practitioner, it sometimes feels as though you find a new term, initialism or acronym around every corner. The initialism BDSM is often used as a catch-all term meant to describe the predilections of those people who enjoy sex with a splash of something extra.
This will be an evolving document where you can come and see updates and additions to the BDSM lexicon. There are so many terms out there we cannot hope to capture them all at once.
Without further ado, let’s jump right into it.
24/7 D/s - A relationship dynamic where the participants extend their Dominant and submissive roles outside of the bedroom and into every aspect of daily life
Aftercare - Taking care of your partner after an intense scene by providing items that they may find comforting such as specific blankets, movies, beverages, and snuggles
Anal Training - The act of using objects including fingers and toys to stretch the anal opening to be better prepared for anal sex.
Ass Play - The act of using the anus as an erogenous zone including both external stimulation and penetrative acts
BDSM - The initialism of Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission Sadism, and Masochism which is used as a catchall term for a litany of unconventional sexual practices.
Blood Play - Drawing the blood of the submissive by various means for purpose of sexual gratification of both parties
Bondage - The act of physically restraining somebody for the purpose of sexual gratification
Rope Bondage - The use of rope when restraining somebody
Shibari - A type of rope bondage fashioned out Japanese knotwork wherein the placement of the rope and type of knots become works of art
Bottom - The receiving participant in a scene - usually the submissive but Dominants like to bottom too!; opposite of the “Top”
Collaring - Often seen as the kinky version of marriage, a collaring occurs when a Dominant places a collar or a representation of a collar upon their submissive as a means of marking them as theirs
Consensual Non-Consent (CNC) - an agreed-upon scenario wherein the parties involved play as though there is no consent and “forced” sexual acts are performed on the “victim” - use of a Safe Word is imperative with this type of play; umbrella term that “rape play” falls under
Cuckold/Cuckqueen/Cuck - An individual who enjoys watching their partner enjoy sexual encounters with others and often assisting with the “cleanup” afterward
D/s Dynamic - Standing for Domination and submission either within the scope of a roleplay or as a full time relationship dynamic
Dominant - An individual who “dominates” a submissive within their dynamic - there are many different types of Dominant
Bedroom Dom - A Dominant who only plays that role in the bedroom during sexual encounters
Brat Tamer - A Dominant who is the Top to a brat and enjoys the challenge of guiding the mischievous energy and not allowing them to get away with their misbehavior
Daddy Dom - A Dominant who plays the role of Daddy to a partner who roleplays as a young child; used as gender-neutral
Dommy Mommy - A female identifying dominant who plays the role of Mommy to a partner who roleplays as a young child
Dominatrix - A female identifying dominant also referred to as a Domme
Master - A Dominant who identifies as a Master and owner of their submissive/slave - this is often found within a 24/7 total power exchange dynamic
ProDom/ProDomme - Professional Dominants who are paid to dominate their clients
Domspace - A state of mind that the Dom may enter into during a scene that is described as euphoric
Dungeon - A specific room or area where BDSM toys and equipment have been placed and arranged for the purpose of play
Edgeplay - More intense types of play that increase the physical and emotional risk of the participants - SEE: CNC, Knife play, needle play, and blood play for examples
Fear Play - Using fear within a scene to heighten the sexual arousal of all parties
Fisting - Penetrating the vagina or rectum with a hand
Golden Showers/Watersports - The use of urine in a scene wherein somebody urinates on another individual
Impact Play - A type of play where the Dominant uses body parts (hands, legs etc) or toys such as floggers, whips, paddles, or other instruments to impact the submissive’s body
Kink - The description of any unconventional act or item that causes sexual arousal or gratification
Knife Play - Use of a knife during play - it does not always involve cutting and often is used as part of fear play
Masochism - The enjoyment of receiving pain during sexual encounters
Masochist - An individual who enjoys another causing them pain for the purpose of sexual gratification
Needle Play/Play Piercing - Where the Dom uses needles to pierce the skin of the submissive for both sensation and bloodplay
Pony - A Ponyboy or Ponygirl is one who is dressed as a pony complete with a butt plug that has a tail and often instructed to perform as a show horse
Pussy Torture - Torture of the vulva in order to enhance sexual gratification of the participants
Sadism - The act of getting pleasure through the infliction of pain on another
Sadist - One who practices sadism and enjoys inflicting pain during sexual encounters (with consent)
Safe Word - A word that all participants have agreed to that tells the rest to stop everything immediately
Stoplight Method - The stoplight method refers to the use of Green Light, Yellow Light, and Red Light as safe words wherein Green Light means to continue, Yellow Light means to slow down or back off but not stop, and Red Light means that all activity stops immediately
Submissive - An individual who submits to a Dominant
Brat - This is a submissive who enjoys acting in a contrary manner, being disobedient, and often acting out to get what they want and provoke a response from their Dominant
Little - A kinkster who roleplays as a child (not always a submissive!)
Middle - A kinkster who roleplays as a older child, generally 10 years old or older
Slave - An individual who gives up all control of their lives to their Master or Mistress
Subdrop - The emotional and physical drop a submissive experiences after an intense scene has ended - it can be mitigated through aftercare, though not entirely avoided in most cases
Switch - An individual who enjoys both being Dominant and submissive depending on the partner and the scene in question
Tit Torture - The physical torture of the breasts on individuals who have breasts
Topping From the Bottom - When the submissive attempts to guide the actions of the Dom outside of the Brat/Brat Tamer dynamic
Vanilla - The term used to explain those people who are not into BDSM and Kink
